| I'm the Fuckin' Geezer I don't have a drink problem, there's one right there Yeah right, me sack Your insults don't bother me It's like water off a sponge's back With a head like a bulldog lickin' piss off a nettle I'm the last of the Irish rover See, if you're not prepared ta change the system The system's gonna catch ya bendin' over Ya say it don't matter where ya get your appetite from Once ya eat at home But the same old same at the greasy shit-house Sometimes, me boys, you're better eatin' alone See I recognise brothers from behind Believe me, I can't please her She simply has to understand that I'm the fuckin' geezer. They walk like John Wayne for a week When I pot me pink Cockney boys are like spaghetti Bent as fuck when they've had a drink. When we split, yeah - I was down But I've alcohol now, and I'm fine I don't need your help to do badly I can do badly in my own time. Get your Mars Bars, five-a-pound Get your grubby hands off me sherbert! Among the snappers I move like the clappers Cause I'm a fuckin' pervert Take that, ya fuckin' cunt I'll never trust no fuckin' hippy Comin' round here with your Grande Lattes Fuckin' things make me shitty We'd a love/hate relationship, Yeah, you loved me, But at least Jesus loves ya, honey Nut not as much as he loves me The girls on the night bus singin': “Innit. Oh! you got you a potty mouth!" Well, at least we know the floor is even both sides your mouth me spunk's comin' out. Take that, ya fuckin' cunt I'll never trust no fuckin' hippy Comin' round here with your Grande Lattes Fuckin' things make me shitty I Like Piggybacks Too! Hey John! I wanna word I've been meanin' ta tell ya - I'm nobbin' your bird It was that time o' the month, my friend When a gentleman bowls the pavillion end I ain't never seen such a hairy box She's ta tuck her trousers into her socks A cup a tea and a kit-kat chunky And that girl would spank ya monkey I don't like Sundays, for feelin' so alone The autumn wind sings soon I'll find my home I like my eggs like I like my women - Over easy, with a sausage in 'em She's a great ass has your wife, Something that followed her all through life You gave her a kidney, yada yada I've got more semen than the Spanish Armada I'd fuck boy, girl, mince pie or other I'm an equal opportunities lover I don't like Sundays, for feelin' so alone The autumn wind sings soon I'll find my home Size counts, okay, but F = MA* I been yours, oh my Since you were a glint in the milkman's eye (* Force = Mass x Acceleration) Opinionated Blue-collar Outlook Sometimes, I ask myself: 'What's it all about?' How d'ya like me Classics, son, square inside your fuckin' mouth? Screamin' opinions in my face - it's not big, and it's not clever "A sinner or a winner" eh? Darlin', yeah, whatever Folk won't never trust a man in wanker pink shell suits Ya might find yourself at the bottom of the Thames, with a pair a concrete boots Come across all diamond geez, with "I'd do that cunt Rita." Looks like Tarzan, talks like Jane, screams like fuckin' Cheetah Big style down in Spittal' market, sellin' fuckin' duds If that ain't Ralph Lau-fuckin'-ren I'll drop ya like a sack a' spuds But I've time for Biggie, with what he's got He does the best he can That man could sell razor blades in Af-fuckin'-ghanistan Yes, I've got mc squared No I won't take no cheque Fuck with me, I'll rip your head off And shit inside your fuckin' neck Now, my life might fit in a pint glass But do I look like a fuckin' mug? Big, I don't give a monkey's toss! what the fuck do I want with a Persian rug!? Can I be your manager, yo? I'll get ya on the goddamn radio! Drop ya pants and I'll make you rich I've been so lonely; won't ya let me be your bitch? I was in a fight last Friday night Smashed me glass in his fuckin' face They were pickin' his fuckin' nose up, all over the fuckin' place Scary, lairy, quite contrary Havin' a fight with an ATM Drunk and lost inside a phone box Sometimes life's a fuckin' gem |