Are u lookin at my missus?

Consider yourself a Londoner, but of course youre not.
You got youth but you got trouble,
Cause youth is all ya got.
Sorry fella, I dont got no change, I only carry cash.
Watch me pint Tommy boy Im going for a slash.

You see oh oh,
Hi dee hi!
You interest me.
All Ill ever be oh oh,
Is what I am... a rich mans monkey.

I can only think of sex when I try and write.
Ive got writers cock.
Im so horny I could poke your nose.
Hey listen, yeah, knock knock.
Whos there?
Fuck, man.
I say! Fuck who?
Fuck da da fuck da da fuck da da fuck da da fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck you.

And I will love you because somebody has to.
You are what you eat and brother youre a knob.
At best youre eye candy.
Youre only a fuckin dandy.
Eat handbag bitch... I got the gift of the gob.

A fuck off and die,
Thats what this is.
Are you looking at my missus?


Gonzo

I cant bear to be so talented and so undiscovered,
Hey! Everybody look at me!
Well pander to our critics because we are in it for the money.
Skid ill de idle day dill dumb baa did ill e idle de.
Yes Im hung like an anaconda, so by me god is great.
I bet he dont know the first goddamn thing about how to roller-skate.
I pluck my eyebrows in his name. I cook up with his finest candles.
But, I fail to see how a principled man could every wear sandals.

I got this new mint shampoo I smell like Vienetta.
My, thats some tasty chicken. Tickle me with a feather.
And If Im lucky hell treat me like a piece of meat.
Sister, Im as loose as Shane McGowans two front teeth.

Oh lordy, my, oh my.
You is such a handsome guy.
I said, My mama was Miss Monaghan 1969.
I lit a fire this morning, I should check on it sometime.

I never knew that you wanted me.
I thought you didnt care.
I made my way to Heaven.
How could I know that youd be there?
I didnt know that youd be there.

How much weight has that girl put on?
Sophies like... I know
Its like, oh my God!
That girl is like Hello!
Tell me that milk is semi-skimmed?
Sophies like... No!
Oh my God!
That girl is like Hello!


Playing the Gay Guitar

Have a joint, have a valium, fuck it girl have three.
I just want to play the gay guitar,
Matthew, give me an E.
Im not ice cream and lollypops,
Im a promise to the night,
Id like to strangle the pope with his own tongue,
Its fair to say Im a Jedi Knight.

You got to make it on your own, girl,
You got to make it on your own.

Just keep putting one foot in front of the other, maybe baby well be just fine.
Praise the Lord.
ALLELUIA.
Whats yours is ours and what is mine is mine.
And the ten tonne pussy choir sing:
Hes got the whole world in his hands
Well, I will leave no turn un-stoned in my quest for faith in a promised land.

Hes got the whole world in his hands.
Hes got you and me brother in his hands.
If youre happy and you know it clap your hands.
If youre happy clap your hands.

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